Have you seen “We Are The World” lately?
By david ~ June 18th, 2009. Filed under: Music, Uncategorized, comedy, dance, video.
So, I just watch the video for “We Are The World” after not having seen it since, say, 1980-something. Take home “no ways!” include:
- Bob Dylan. Really? Bob Dylan?
- Cyndi Lauper: So, so cute.
- Michael Jackson back when he was mysterious, but before he’d become creepy. Yes, there was such a time!
- Huey Lewis. Don’t get me wrong, I know Huey had/has some talent, and is a certain type of rock and roll powerhouse… but he was a #1 charting star back in the day. The 80’s. They let dudes be stars whose bright ideas were to have them chasing single moms in their videos. I don’t know the last time I saw Usher’s leading video lady having a kid. Why? Because it’s just not simple enough! Fantasy is a simple, uni-dimensional thing. It’s, “Ooh yeah, I wanna break me off a piece of that!” And not, “Ooh yeah, I wanna break me off a piece of that! And then take her and her kid our for pizza! And maybe we can all go see a movie or do some other family-oriented event this weekend!” Naw, man. Fantasy doesn’t tend to allow for complex, real-life situational drawback-ness.
- Did I mention Dionne Warwick?
- I have no comment to make about Billy Joel. Let’s just move on.
If this had been done today, they’d stick to one, maybe two genres. Not so back then; Stevie Wonder, Bruce Springsteen, Dionne friggin Warwick, Kenny “Yule Log” Loggins, Steve “Journey” Perry, Paul Simon, Ray Charles, Lionel “Easy Like Sunday Mornin’” Richie, Harry Belafonte, Diana Ross, Willy Nelson, the Pointer Sisters… the list quite literally goes on and on. Today, it’d be, like, Lady Gaga, Kanye West, Miley Cyrus, the cast from High School Musical, Britney Spears, the All-American Rejects and Usher. And maybe Katy Perry. And all would be super glammed up for the video, and probably Britney and Katy Perry would make out in the video. And it’d be hot. None of this “showing the actual recording session” crap. Where’s my near nudity? I pay taxes; I deserve my somewhat titillating near nudity as much as the next guy.
Of course, those who are not there are kind of interesting… Madonna, Prince, Van Halen, Metallica… the Grateful Dead… heh… they should’ve all gotten together in 1985 to do their own. I’d love to see Jerry and Madonna gettin’ down. And Prince dancing in a way that is suggestive of the manner in which doves cry in the background. And then Eddie Van Halen shreds his way through a guitar solo, unnecessarily finger-tapping all the way. And Metallica kicks it up even one more notch, leading to an Eddie Van Halen-Kirk Hammett solo-off, a la Dragonforce. Because it doesn’t get any better than that.
But wait - then Ozzy Osbourne and Zakk Wylde show up, Ozzy screaming about how the poor, starving kids need to eat. Bat blood is flying everywhere. Zakk is shredding up a storm on his bullseye guitar. Eddie is playing the synth intro to “Panama.” David Lee Roth’s pants are causing widespread hardware meltdowns in the studio. The Grateful Dead are hiding in the bathroom getting high on “the grass.” Madonna is kicking Prince’s ass. Mr. T and Eddie Murphy are banging on the door, yelling, “We did a little bit of singing in the 80’s, too! Let us in!” Alex Van Halen falls from his drum set, which had been soaring above the studio. He lays on his back, his belly baking in the hot sun, beating his legs trying to turn himself over, but he can’t. Not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that, Leon?
Whew! Wow. What a mess. Maybe it is better that they weren’t invited. Still, you’d think Boy George at least would’ve gotten an invite. I mean, come on - he did a lot for equality. He was a symbol in a huge way; he looms large. And what about Wham? Poor George Michael. Always the Wham’s-maid, never the… other thing. Well, until after Wham, at which point he did become the other thing. The main dude.
Anyway, so yeah. On to the “mp3 blog” aspect of today’s post.
And I have two songs to share for today. David Byrne is a multi-faceted artist with a long and incredibly illustrious career. He is one of those artists who is just the guy, in that sense that there’s nobody like him. He does his own thing without it being pretentious or ridiculous, and still manages to make it approachable & pleasant, even. Say what you will about his solo career, but it is certainly widely varied - from the orchestral loveliness of “The Forest” to the Afro-Cuban amazing-nality of “Rei Momo,” and on into his more recent fairly poppy work, he has had quite a career. And that’s not to go into his entire Talking Heads discography, which on its own is completely insane.
His most recent release, “Everything That Happens Will Happen Today,” is a collaboration with Brian Eno, long-time Byrne-related collaborator & all around amazing artist himself. The good parts are very good. And this song is one of them.
It’s called “Home,” and here it is. It’s a pleasant, mid-tempo walkin’ kinda pop song.
Brian Eno deserves a special call out, too. Former Roxy Music member, father of ambient music, and so on - he’s had quite a unique career, himself. Perhaps even moreso than David Byrne, though their paths have intersected quite often. At any rate, Eno’s first solo release, “Here Come the Warm Jets,” released in 1974, kicks off with this just fucking fantastic song, “Needle in the Camel’s Eye.” Which doesn’t sound, really, anything like its title, and instead sounds a lot more like something the Strokes wish they would’ve written. It’s like Iggy Pop “Lust For Life,” but maybe not quite so lusty. I guess I’d concede that Eno’s vocal style is not the most unique ever - that’s probably the one thing keeping this song from being the most god damn amazing thing ever. You don’t get that “he’s singing right to me” kind of feeling that you do from your David Byrnes, Tom Waitses and Billy Joels. (I hate when Billy Joel sings right to me; I hate it so, so much. He mocks me with his stupid voice. Stop it, BJ! Stop it now, BJ!!!) But it’s good.
So, you know.
Download it here and check it out: Needle in the Camel’s Eye. A fan-fucking-tastic slice of timeless rock and roll from 1974.
Peace out, Boneless friends.
-David
